The following collection of bar signs is so amusing and clever that all of them would get us in the door. If that means we’re alcoholics, so be it! (We’re not really alcoholics. Calm down, Susan.)

They have a point! Sometimes you have to make sacrifices and just pound beers starting at 8am.

That guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about! I mean how bad could it be, right? Right?!

Who are we to judge someone needing to hide from their wife? Maybe she’s abusive! This bar offers reasonable rates for deceiving your wife when she calls to check if you’re drinking at 8am again.

We’re not sure it’s very nice to profit from someone’s heartache, but it sure is clever from a business perspective!

This bar will solve all of your most important life problems with food and drinks.

Are you going to argue with science? Really? It’s science. These are facts. Scientific facts.

That’s a little bit deceptive, especially when you’re wasted and are probably only able to read the big letters. Genius!

This seems like a reasonable policy to have at a bar.

Vodka knows you have it in you!

This explains why most Irish people are so pale.

It’s probably best if you don’t remember what you did.

If a story started with that, we’d just walk away to save ourselves from the extreme boredom about to rain upon us without mercy.
And with that… enjoy your weekend, bosses! Drink responsibly and only go into bars with sweet signs like these at the door.